Dreams

*Just a short piece, it's quite raw.*

I dreamt about him again last night. I wish I hadn't though it wasn't so bad this time. We weren't together that way. But he was holding me and we were laughing and it was almost like before. There were no walls between us, no elephant in the room. I miss that so much.

Then of course, I woke up feeling lost and empty. And guilty, guilty and ashamed. He isn't mine anymore. He hasn't been mine for a long time. I still haven't quite let go though. It's not that I still want him, that passed a long time ago, I just miss knowing him. It's strange seeing someone who you used to be so close to everyday and feeling so awkward around them. It feels so wrong.